Hospice

By: Jasmin Avagyan

Death is something that will always be present. It is something we are all destined for. There are two dynamics present: the physical shutting down of the body and the emotional release of one’s self. Doctors have a term for this, “Preparing for the final stages of life.” During this crucial stage in one’s life, relationships will change and evolve whether it be for the better or worse. Physicians have observed that patients develop relationships with chaplins, family, and most importantly themselves.

Many hospice patients are provided with spiritual guidance in order to best direct their soul towards death. This is also seen in many religions such as Buddhism. In his book, The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying, Sogyal Rinpoche thoroughly discusses the process of dying. Rinpoche claims that, as part of dying, one must learn to detach from people in order to help the inner soul reach a place of acceptance. Thus, the patient is willing to forgive or accept family or friends in order to guide their soul towards peace (3). As a volunteer from the Nathan Adelson Hospice, I have witnessed family dynamics changing due to change in the spirit of the patient. Through this change in the spirit, patients are able to find the meaning of the relationships they have formed over the course of their life.

However, because people in hospice care tend to be under heavy dosage of medicine, they are often not alert or aware of their surroundings. For this reason, patients often do not have the opportunity to communicate with their loved ones or express any last wishes or words. This is when previous relationships with family or friends is crucial. When you have people supporting you through prayers or simply being present in the room, the energy created places meaning in your life. It validates that as a person you have had the ability to craft deep emotional connections of which have blossomed beyond this earth (1).

Local Las Vegas writer and veteran high school teacher, David Winkler, was asked about his emotional experiences while volunteering at the Nathan Adelson Hospice. In summary, Winkler discussed a common misconception: many patients actually do not have anyone beside them. During this time, there is a natural instinct for patients to desire someone’s presence. Volunteers play an important role in this critical and sorrowful time. Through meaningful interactions, both the patient and the volunteer develop an emotional connection that will outlive anything. The volunteer is moved by certain experiences which inflict meaning in one’s life. The meaning is in that they were apart of someone else’s experiences with death, they helped guide them and as a result they are more aware of it. A man only dies once as said by many. Yet it is an experience which we will all go through on our own terms.

Research studies have shown that some patients discover a new appreciation for life while living in hospice care (2). It is during this time that they are truly able to reflect upon the relationships they have formed. They look to see who is there or not and that to them reveals a lot about the people they have known. Moreover, the family members or friends also find a new meaning in life. The patient’s loved ones are present in order to bring more sense to the idea of death, and to no longer be in denial - death has become certain. It is often difficult to give permission for your loved one to die. There is a scary thought for that relationship will no longer physically exist. However, upon spiritual guidance, it is possible for one to acknowledge the meaning of that relationship is to live life to the fullest.

References

Bernacki, Rachelle E., and Steven Z. Pantilat. Guidelines for Palliative Care: Hospital and Hospice.” Esophageal Cancer: Principles & Practice, 2009, pp. 693–698.
Lunt, Barry, and Cherie Neale. “A Comparison of Hospice and Hospital: Care Goals Set by Staff.” Palliative Medicine, vol. 1, no. 2, June 1987, pp. 136–148, doi:10.1177/026921638700100209. Sogyal, Rinpoche. The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying. Edited by Patrick Gaffney and Andrew Harvey, HarperSanFrancisco, 2013.
Sogyal, Rinpoche. The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying. Edited by Patrick Gaffney and Andrew Harvey, HarperSanFrancisco, 2013.